


Going Home Pt 4

by TeamFreeWill12



Series: Post I'm No Angel Trauma [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas is in charge, Dean feels unworthy, Gen, as usual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-13
Updated: 2014-01-13
Packaged: 2018-01-08 15:30:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1134334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamFreeWill12/pseuds/TeamFreeWill12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The morning after Cas gets drunk Dean back to his crappy motel room. He declares that it's time to go back to the bunker. Realizations hit and Dean feels even more guilty and unworthy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Going Home Pt 4

**Author's Note:**

> Many apologies for the lateness in the continuation. Retail Hell was...well, Hell, and of course, health problems and general clutter problems got in the way of me getting ANYTHING done. 
> 
> I appreciate your Kudos and reading of any and all of my stories. I hope you're enjoying them.

When Dean woke up the next morning, head pounding, foul taste in his dry mouth, he cracked open his eyes to see  Castiel  sitting slumped on the edge of his bed.

He didn't move, didn't  make a sound, but  Cas  knew he was awake. Dean was about to heave himself up off the bed and head for the bathroom to get his bearings and clean himself up, but the sound of  Cas ' voice stopped him.

The tone was soft, even, but even his clouded mind heard  the pain and frustration in his friend's voice.

“You can't keep doing this, Dean. You've got to stop killing yourself. I can't heal you anymore. I can't make things all better, so you have to stop doing this to yourself. I can't stand by and watch you kil ling yourself, knowing that I can no longer stop it. So please stop.”

Dean sighed and crawled out of the bed. “'M sorry,  Cas .  Dunno  what else to do.” His voice was hoarse and defeated, even to his ears. He locked himself in the bathroom and considered hi s reflection in the cracked motel mirror. Bloodshot eyes, purple, puffy bags underneath...his face had drunk bloat. “ Dunno  what else to do,” he repeated softly before grabbing his mouthwash and swishing some of the blue liquid over his tongue to get the vi le taste out of his mouth. He quickly brushed his teeth and hit the shower.

When he got out, he realized he'd forgotten to bring clothes into the bathroom with him. Drying off as best he could, he tied the towel around his waist and slowly opened the door  to peek out. The room was empty. Dean frowned, wondering where  Cas  had gone off to. Surely he hadn't come this far only to leave...Well, everyone left in the end, why shouldn't  Cas  take off, too?

Turns out, he didn't need to worry. He didn't even have ti me to wallow. After Dean had gotten dressed and sat back down on his bed and was contemplating whiskey or beer for breakfast, the motel door opened. Dean watched as  Cas  made his way inside, carrying a large white paper bag and a couple of coffees in a card board carrier and deposited his burden on the table under the window. He didn't say anything, his eyes tracking his friend's movements as he unloaded the bag.

Setting the bag aside,  Castiel  turned around and caught Dean's gaze, knowing instantly what was  going through his friend's head. He moved forward to place a light hand on the taller man's shoulder. “I'm not going to leave again, Dean,” he murmured. “I promise.”

Dean nodded, his head heavy, eyes stinging.

“Eat some breakfast, have some coffee. I'm g oing to shower.”

Before he could move too far away, Dean grabbed his friend's hand. “Thanks,  Cas ,” he said hoarsely, the lump in his throat nearly choking him.

“You're welcome, Dean.”

It took more than a second after  Castiel  squeezed Dean's hand for  them to let go. Once the new human was ensconced behind the closed door, Dean sighed and searched through his bags for some painkillers, which chased with some black coffee before popping open the  styrofoam  container to reveal a pile of scrambled eggs, bac on, sausage, and pancakes.

He gratefully fell into one of the chairs, reaching for the plastic fork and knife  Cas  had left, along with the packets of syrup.

Cas  was a good friend. After all that Dean had done to him, far in the past, and even as recently  as kicking him out of the bunker...After all that, he was willing to help...Dean didn't even deserve this breakfast that his friend brought him. He doesn't deserve any kindness  Cas  is willing to give.  Cas  doesn't deserve to be taken advantage of. Not a li ttle bit.

It was suddenly hard to breathe. It felt like there was a band around his chest, squeezing out all the air.

He was concentrating so hard on not surrendering to the emotions that were trying to drown him that he didn't hear  Cas  come out of the b athroom.

“Dean? Are you ok?”

He jerked, inhaling abruptly. “Yeah,  Cas . I'm good.”

“You need to eat, Dean. You need your strength. We've got things to do.”  Castiel  pulled a wrapped sandwich from a smaller bag. Dean watched as he pulled the paper aside an d dug into the breakfast sandwich.

“What do you mean? What things?” His stomach flipped, his appetite gone for good this time.

He watched impatiently as his friend chewed and swallowed. “We're going back to the bunker. Both of us. It's time to do damage  control.”

“No,  Cas . I can't go back there. Sam doesn't want me there. And Zeke doesn't want _ you _  there.”

Dean shrank back from the blue eyes that glared ice at him. “And whose fault is that, Dean? So what if Sam doesn 't want you there? When has that ever stopped you?  As for Ezekiel...I am not altogether convinced that the angel possessing your brother  is  Ezekiel. He and I were friends, once upon a time. Why would he not want me around?"

Dean paused, his eyes filling with horror as realization dawned. "You mean...whoever is subletting my brother isn't who he says he is?"

" Yes,  Dean. All the more reason to get back to the bunker as quickly as possible."

Dean still didn't move. "Fuck. _Fuck._  Kevin. I left him there alone with some strange angel inside my brother. Jesus  _Christ_ , what have I done?" 

"I talked to Kevin this morning, Dean. He's fine. I wanted to warn him that we are on our way. And don't worry. I told him to keep the information to himself. Neither Sam nor this angel know we're coming."

Dean swallowed hard, fear and pain and guilt and shame running through his veins. "Thanks,  Cas . For everything. I don't deserve your help, but thanks."

"This isn't about you Dean, not this time,"  Cas  clipped. "This is about helping  Sam. Now hurry up and pack your things. You're checking out. It's time to go home."


End file.
